When in Rome...

...take pictures of my son.

Today was, yet again, great weather for heading into Rome - this was at 8am, Finn was getting warm outside and I had to change him from his pj's anyways, so I let him crawl around in just his diaper.

We went into Rome to see our good Aussie friend (who lives in London), Monica. It was sooo soo sooooo nice to see her again. It's been great catching up with all of these quality people that we've missed.

She is here for the weekend, and was at mass at St. Peters - so we met here in the square. We were just standing around and chatting, when Finnian saw a bunch of pigeons around. Conor took him out of his stroller and he was watching the birds. Then these asian tourists come over and start waving at Finnian. We got Finn to walk from Conor to myself, and then this lady came over and wanted him to walk to her, which he did. They proceeded to film her holding him, and took a lot of pictures. It was pretty funny. They came all the way to Rome and were taking pictures of Finn. Then we finally got him back (after the husband had a turn holding him), and Conor was throwing him up in the air, and then this younger asian girl came and asked to hold him, and SHE started throwing him up in the air (luckily, not as high as Conor was!). It was just priceless. After we got him back that time we decided to leave that area before they ALL took a turn!

Monica took us to the BEST gelatti place - it was sooo good. I've been craving gelatti, but the store in Santa Marinella is hardly open these days, and when we were in Rome on Wednesday we didn't get a chance. So this was definately worth the wait!

We did a lot of catching up, let Finn play around for awhile, and then headed back to St. Peters where we were going to meet someone else and head for lunch. The guy we were meeting is a seminarian from Melbourne, who we never actually met while we were there, but another Aussie friend has been trying to get us to hang out with him while we are here, but it was awkward because we were never introduced. Anyways, now that we've been introduced Conor will probably meet up with him more in Rome, and we're going to try to have him and maybe another Aussie or two out to Santa Marinella on a Saturday sometime - especially since the weather is getting so nice!

We had a good lunch, more catching up (since he needed to be informed of things from Monica as well), there was this really weird guy where we went for lunch. He had a long beard, a cowboy hat and kept trying to talk to Finnian. When he went to leave he had this bicycle with a little trailer attached and he had a stereo playing. Whenever he tried to get Finn's attention he would say "coo-coo, coo-coo" - I thought it was very fitting!

Well our visit with Monica was short but sweet - if we work it into our budget we might try to make a trip out to London.

Oh, and this is a new sign they put up on the building next to ours. It's so gross, but completely necessary - I wish they were everywhere!

Failing Miserably.

This season of lent has not begun well for me! My two "things" were going to be giving up Coke (which I do every Lent) and going to a weekday mass once a week.

STRIKE ONE: When we were in Rome the other day, I needed something to drink and was going to get a sprite but the place only had coke - Conor gave me his own personal "dispensation" - yeah right, that doesn't count. So I've just dropped that one altogether.

STRIKE TWO: Well I went to mass yesterday (which was a day late if I wanted to go once a week) only to find out that starting next week, weekday mass will start at 6:30pm instead of 5pm. That is not possible with Finnian! I feel really bad, that was something I really wanted to do, but it's just not going to work out.

(Not to mention I forgot it was Friday and had meat for lunch!)

So I've had to start again!

I've decided to pray the Rosary for someone (an individual, a couple, or a family) every day. I've written up my list, and I have some catching up to do!

On a more positive note - Finnian slept through the night last night! First time since Oct 26th (yes, I know the exact date, because he slept through the night our first two nights in this apartment, and hasn't done it since!) I'm not expecting it to happen again anytime soon, but I'll take what I can get!

Spring has sprung

So I heard that spring in Santa Marinella is about a month earlier than everywhere else - and you can totally tell! Sunny, birds chirping everywhere, warmer - it's LOVELY!

Yesterday we went into Rome to see the Wagner's and Anderson's and we could not have asked for nicer weather. Finnian did really well on the train ride in, and on the way back he spent the first 15 minutes kneeling at the window with both of his hands up watching everything go by, he then crawled into my lap and fell right asleep! (It was 4pm and he hadn't had a nap all day)

Helen W, Kate A and I

We were going to meet the Anderson's at 11:30 at Domus Aurelia (their hotel, also where the Emmanuel School of mission is - where the Wagner's will be working). But we went in a bit earlier, and were maybe going to meet the Wagner's closer to St. Peters - they were going to the post office to start their "permesso di soggiorno" journey! They went in at 9am and didn't meet up with us until after 11! Poor guys - but luckily they have people at the School that really help with the forms and such, and are even on good terms with the

Anyways, we wandered around St. Peters a little bit, and then walked to the Domus from there, it's only about 15 mins. I can't believe how big the Anderson's kids are! When we left Australia the youngest had just learned to say her name, and now she's 3! And they have a little 4 month old. I just have to say that this family is AMAZING! The mom is completing her masters/licentiate from the John Paul II Institute, while having 5 kids - flying all the way to Rome - and she's just so calm, and so great with her kids. Very inspirational! They're flight was something crazy, like 16 hours to Singapore, and then another 8+ to Rome. The kids apparently did really well.

Snuggling with Helen

We stayed at the Domus while someone helped them look online for an apartment, and while we waited for the Anderson's. After we were all together we walked to a nice little restaurant that had room for all of us and our strollers! They brought us into the back room, and there was an older couple, I said "I hope they weren't wanting a quiet lunch" - I said this thinking of all of the kids, but the kids were great, us adults were probably louder! The second youngest had fallen asleep in the stroller on the way there, and the middle child was tired at one point so she got into the other seat and just fell right asleep - I was amazed! (but I guess they might still be a bit jet-lagged.)

Anyways, we stayed there for awhile - it was so great to talk and catch up! Finn did really well also, but he was getting tired, it was after 3 by the time we left - he kept cuddling up to the other mom! haha (I tried to get a pic, but it didn't turn out).

The Wagner's are off jet-setting around Europe (for work) for the next couple weeks, but hopefully they'll be able to come out to Santa Marinella for lunch or something when they get back.

Sophia and I - she is so the sweetest little girl!

Spring in Santa Marinella

It was soo nice out this morning - went to a cafe at the port after going to the market

So excited!!

I talked to the Anderson's and the Wagner's today (our friends from Australia who have moved to Rome) and get to see them all tomorrow!

Wow - I'm so excited! I think even more so because I haven't really hung out with anyone since girls night on Thursday because of this cold.

I NEED HUMAN CONTACT!

Day and Night

I think that this will be the last time I talk about Finnian at night. I seriously just can't make up mind if it really bothers me or not. (and no, we never did try "cry-it-out" yet, we may someday, or we may not)

During the night his waking up really bothers me, but then when I wake up I could really care less. He's a great kid, I love him to death, I get a nap everyday, I have a very helpful husband - so there's really nothing to complain about.

He's been taking more steps here and there, and getting better at actually turning around to walk towards something (ie. Standing at the couch, turning around, walking to Conor or I).

House Rule: I've instituted a house rule. If you leave the bathroom door open AND the toilet seat up 3 times in one day, you have to bathe Finnian that night. Well I always bathe Finn, so this rule is for Conor. He NEVER used to do both of these, until Finnian and I were in Canada for 3 weeks, and now Conor is CONSTANTLY doing this! So if I don't catch it before Finn does, his bath wash bottle ends up in the toilet!!

I was going to start this rule this weekend - but now I'm sick! So Conor's been doing a lot more around here (like taking Finnian on a long walk every afternoon so I could rest), so I'll start it next week.

Oh, and I'm calling the last week of February, Aussie week! Our friends, the Anderson's, and their 5 children have moved here from Melbourne, they arrived on Friday and we cannot wait to see them, and meet the youngest who was born after we left Australia. Also, a couple, the Wagners, also from Melbourne, arrived today (they've also moved here, to work at the Emmanuel School of Mission)! I worked with the wife at the Catholic Bookshop, and am so happy they're here. THEN, on Saturday, the amazing Monica will grace us with her presence, while she is here for the weekend. She is also from Melbourne - she was working at the JPII Institute while I was working in the building at the Respect Life office. She has been living in London for the past 2 years (I think about that long).

Can't wait to see these kids again, and their newest sibling.

Anyways, can you tell I'm excited to meet up with old friends! Hopefully I get over this cold in the next day, so that I'm up for a couple trips into Rome (I haven't been to Rome since I came back from Canada!)

Europe vs Italy

This is so perfect - a great way for you to see what we deal with everyday!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkInkNMpI1Q

Watch that, and then read my play-by play below.

..

.....

.........

..............

....................

Here's a mini play-by-play

1. Highway - totally true! I thought we were going to DIE when our taxi was driving us from the airport to our hostel.
2. Parking - true!
3. Parking 2 - add a few cars double and TRIPLE parking and you have it about right. Oh and don't forget scooters in the middle of the sidewalk.
4. Pedestrian Crossing - a little far fetched. More likely, imagine Italians (and anyone who lives here) not looking before they cross, and just crossing. The cars then just have to slam on their brakes because they aren't paying attention. Then imagine foreigners looking both ways before crossing, and then they finally decide to cross, they have to turn back for a car that they are too afraid won't stop (but they will).
5. Road Signals - I don't really know, since I don't drive.
6. Bus - so totally true. But add about 15 other passengers to the line and all butting in. I've only take the bus a couple of times, but one time I waited at waited ON the bus at the station, only to have a bus or two of the SAME number come and go before we left! Argh!
7. Elections - hehe
8. Politics - HAHAHA!!
9. Bureaucracy - You could never GET more right than that!!
10. Queue - YEP, I often deal with this at the grocery store. Every other day or so, if there's a long lineup and only one cashier, someone will go to the other cash register and just stand there, sometimes yelling for another cashier until one comes.
11. Coffee - yep, they don't like to make things easy. Although we definitely see this in North American culture too. Commonly heard in a Starbucks line up, "Can I have a soy, no fat, caramel macchiato".
12. Air landing - didn't quite get this one? Just glad that their pilot got them home alive??
13. Mobile Phone - "Pronto!!" hahaha
14. Sport - Italians don't work out? Okay, guess that's funny.
15. Smoking - you have NO idea! I was shocked to see a, no joke, 12 year old boy sitting outside the cafe smoking with his mom. Although there are a few people locally who will move their cigarette to the other side of them when I walk by with Finn.
16. Conclusion - yummm, pizza.

My additions

1. Post Office - People have to queue outside because it's jam packed inside, plus they have to wait so long that they go through a few smokes. (We're actually lucky they go outside to smoke)
2. Sidewalks - Don't forget the dog poo all over the sidewalks. Seriously the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
3. Bathroom Customs - we've been told that it is unacceptable to use an Italians washroom. Even if you are there all day, drinking everything they offer... Italians must have excellent bladder control.

Personality Change

So it's no "Jekyll and Hyde" situation, but it feels like Finnian has gone through a personality change in the last few days (In a good way!)

The previous week he would wake up early - usually no later than 7am. Our usual routine is that I would come downstairs with him, tidy up, check my email and last as long as I could handle his crankiness. Then I would start breakfast and Conor would come down when it was ready. He would sometimes just be soo cranky - and he just woke up! Aren't you supposed to wake up from the night all refreshed and happy? I can understand waking up from naps cranky, sometimes you just need the sleep, but you wake up feeling a little off because it's now the late afternoon and you didn't get a full proper sleep - but you should wake up alot more happy in the morning.

This wasn't the case with Finnian. Anyways, after breakfast I would try to get things cleaned up while a cranky fussing Finn would be at my feet with a book (ALL he wanted was for you to read to him ALL day long, that was all that would make him happy). Then I would get to my wits end so we would go out - grocery shopping and then for a walk or to a playdate so Conor could have some quiet time to work.

Then lunch, nap, and then he would wake up cranky so we would go for another walk until it was time to start dinner, and then dinner, tub and bed. All the while he would have a few non-cranky moments!

THEN - yesterday morning he woke up at 630am! Ugh, but we actually managed to get him to fall asleep again and he slept until 830. We came downstairs, he played very happily by himself. We had breakfast, I put him back with his toys, and again, played very happily by himself. I went on the internet, wasted alot of time - all the while he played by himself. Finally I decided to go out. We just wandered around. It was soo beautiful out yesterday morning.

We came back, had lunch and I put him down for a nap. Then a friend called because she had to take her baby to emergency (he's okay, just something like croup) so she needed someone at her place with her two girls while they napped until her husband got home. So Conor stayed with Finnian and I went over there. I think he had a few fussy moments after nap time, I got home around dinner and we ate and he was happy and went to bed pretty well.

Today, same time. Woke up at 630 but we got him back to sleep until 9! This time we all just came down and had breakfast and he played and played nicely all morning, then we went to the market and to a coffee shop with Sarah and her kids and he was so good. I should mention that all yesterday and today I only gave him his soother for sleep times. I couldn't handle life without last week and before that!

Since he slept in today we came home later for lunch, and at 2ish he didn't look tired but I knew he still needed a nap and he nursed and went down really easily! he woke up so happy... and it's been so gorgeous out today Conor really wanted to go for a walk - so we went down to the boardwalk. He's just been so good all day, playing all by himself anytime we are doing something else. It's great!

Now Conor is giving Finn his bath, I'm going to nurse him, and then I'm going out for a girls night!! Yay!

PS - He has three molars now, (well I'm not sure if the one bottom one is fully out or not yet, but pretty much) so I'm pretty sure that's why he's Hyde now and not Jekyll anymore!

The John Paul II Institute - Part 2

This post will be a little more practical. If my first post consisted of the general ‘nuptial’ theme of the JPII Institute, this post will try to describe some of the more specific areas of study that this gives rise to.

First, not surprisingly, there is a marked focus on theological anthropology, which asks the fundamental question: ‘who is man?’. This discipline includes the contributions of such disciplines as philosophy, psychology, sociology, and biology, but most fundamentally the anthropology in question is theological (and therefore scriptural). That is, the person is studied in light of the fact that love is who the person is and the only way in which the person can be fully understood. It is only in the light of Christ and ultimately, of the Trinity that the person can be adequately understood.

The discipline of theological anthropology naturally gives rise to sacramental theology, whose object is to discern the specific ways in which the spousal relationship mirrors the Christ-Church relationship, how the marriage relationship is a means of grace for the spouses, molding them ever more closely to the form of Christ’s love, and thus making them an ever-more faithful witness to God’s love in the world. We can speak here of the role of Spirit who makes possible the ‘redemption of the body’, who provides the grace needed to heal the wounds and fractures of the nuptial mystery caused by sin. (Sacramental theology, incidentally, is the general area of my doctoral dissertation).

If the purpose of theological anthropology and sacramental theology is to study the meaning and expression of nuptial love, it is the purpose of moral theology to study the particular language or grammar of this love, and the way in which this love relates to truth at the level of human action. Key here is the notion that morality takes its meaning from love, and in this sense, is not opposed to love but helps it be true to itself. If love is the meaning of marriage, morality is the ‘keeper’ of love. More specifically, the Institute looks at particular areas of morality related to marriage and family, such as sexual ethics and bioethics, two areas at the front lines of the cultural battleground.

We might call these three disciplines (theological anthropology, sacramental theology, and moral theology) the three major areas of study at the JPII Institute. But seeing as their subject matter is the embodied person, called to live out love with the other, in community, in society at large, all of the above disciplines necessarily include a strong pastoral and cultural dimension.

First, this area of theology is infinitely practical in the sense that the image of God is literally an embodied, lived reality in the concrete. Here, the person must be shown his own greatness, must be guided on the way to fulfillment in likeness, must be helped through the difficulties and suffering which necessarily accompany the experiences of marriage and family. Pastoral care of marriage in the family, in its many different applications, is therefore an key emphasis of the Institute.

Second, the embodied, lived reality of marriage and family does not take place in a cultural vacuum. Marriage and family stands at the forefront of what John Paul II called the ‘new evangelization’. Because the image of God is so concentrated, as it were, in the spousal and familial relationships, it falls to marriage and family to give witness to the fact that ‘God is love’ to a culture desperately in need of a re-appreciation of the truth, goodness, and beauty of the Christian mystery. At the same time, there must be an awareness that the truth, goodness, and beauty of the nuptial mystery is not immune to the more negative aspects of the culture. In this, theology must always be conducted with an eye to Christianity's historical and cultural embeddedness.

I hope this helps to give you some sense of what goes on study-wise at the JPII Institute. In my next post I will explain why someone might go to study at the Institute.

Routine

We haven't been up to too much lately. We had invited a family over for pancake breakfast on Saturday, but the husband wouldn't be able to come, so we changed it to Sunday (not realizing that it was Conor's birthday). When we realized, Conor quickly said "don't tell them it's my birthday!" (he's not much of a birthday fan).

So I didn't. But when the pancakes were ready, just before we sat down to eat, I quickly grabbed a candle and a lighter and told them it was Conor's birthday, so we sang to him, and their son, Rocko, helped him blow out his candle.

I kept asking Conor what he wanted to have for his birthday meal. Usually in the Sweeney house, it's birthday childs choice of dinner and cake. (Mom S is a GREAT cake maker - she even did our wedding cake!) But Conor didn't want any fuss, and he didn't want me to get stress out (I get a little stressed in the kitchen when I do new things - Conor does most, read: ALL, the cooking and baking - but I really wanted to do SOMETHING for him). So I finally asked if I could try a carrot cake, I wouldn't stress, if it didn't turn out, so be it. So I emailed his mom for the recipe, and I made it on Sat night. It all went very smoothly, I put it in the oven, tasted the batter, and realized something wasn't right! But I didn't want to say anything... then Conor came and also had a taste of the batter and said "um, I think you forgot something." I quickly retorted "I did not! I checked the recipe twice, I didn't forget a thing!" He then asked if the recipe called for sugar, I said no (haha, if I'd ever made a cake before, I probably would have realized that wasn't quite right!)

Anyways, I emailed Mom back, and sure enough she forgot to put sugar on the recipe. After breakfast on Sunday, Finnian and I took a nap upstairs (and Conor ended up taking a nap downstairs) and we lazed about. We hadn't decided what we were going to have for dinner even, and we didn't have much food in the house, and the grocery store we like is closed on Sundays except in the morning. Then we remembered that we had leftover pizza dough and sauce in the freezer from when we had a couple of our bachelor friends over, so we had that. After dinner I quickly remade the cake (with sugar this time!). When Finn was in bed, I made the cream cheese icing - let's just say that it didn't look all that good (very goopy! I think I needed to use an electric mixer, but we don't have one) but it tasted great! My first cake was half-way to a success! It tasted perfect, but didn't look the best, but it was just for Conor and I, so I didn't really care.

On Tuesday, three of the moms and their 6 kids came over and we prayed a Rosary for our friend in Rome who lost her baby. Then had playtime. Yesterday another mom came over for playtime. Playtime, playtime, playtime. Haha - that's my life right now. I don't really mind it though!

Anyways, I'll leave you with a couple pictures!

My niece Nicole in her Grandma's hands for the first time since being born.

Out of NICU, off the feeding tube, and almost ready to go home!!

My Dad, Abraham Lincoln!

The John Paul II Institute - Part 1

I have had a lot of people asking me what exactly we were doing in Australia, as in, what kind of studies. From there they've been asking what we are doing in Rome, and what Conor will be doing at the end of his studies.

So I have forced Conor to make his first contribution to OUR blog!

And now for your reading pleasure, I introduce my husband, Conor.

Jackie wants me to explain why I am dragging my family all over the world in pursuit of my education. I will apologize in advance for any long-windedness; I abhor ‘dumbing things down’.

Around the same time that Jackie was going through her conversion experience, I was going through my own spiritual re-awakening. Like her, the Christopher West series had a big impact on me; such a big impact, in fact, that it inspired me to switch from the local university I was attending to Trinity Western University/Redeemer Pacific College. At this stage, I didn’t really know what the future held, but I knew that I wanted to be involved in some way in the area of theology dealing with marriage.

Things progressed; I obtained my undergraduate degree from TWU, applied to the John Paul II Institute for Marriage and Family, Melbourne, and was accepted. Jackie and I got married and moved to Australia. The specific questions Jackie wants me answer are: what is the JPII Institute, what do I study there, and where am I going with these studies?

The John Paul II Institute for Marriage and the Family is a pontifical university founded in 1981 at the behest of Pope John Paul II. The motivation behind JPII’s initiative for an institute specializing in the theological and pastoral analysis of marriage and the family lay in the pope’s acute awareness of the need for a renewed appreciation of the significance of the married state, both from the point of view of the Church’s own theology, and from the point of view of a cultural climate teeming with the logic of the sexual revolution.

Particularly in light of the fact that ‘crisis’ is perhaps an apt word to describe the challenges facing the contemporary Church in the territory of marriage and family, for JPII the question was – and is – predominately anthropological (who is man?) and therefore theological (who is God?). Because man is the image of God, the two questions necessarily go hand in hand. For JPII, ‘the tragedy of contemporary man is that he has forgotten who he is: he no longer knows who he is’.

The task of developing an anthropology adequate to the challenges of the day was something that JPII took very seriously. For an anthropology to be ‘adequate’, it must be rooted in the fertile soil of the faith: ‘only in the mystery of the incarnate Word does the mystery of man take on light’. This conviction can be seen expressed in what one could perhaps call JPII’s master work, the Theology of the Body. Here, John Paul II begins with Christ’s words about marriage to the Pharisees in Matthew’s Gospel. Against the perennial ‘hardness’ of the fallen human heart – a ‘hardness’ indicative of man’s rejection of his own greatness and dignity – John Paul II appeals to God’s plan for marriage ‘in the beginning’, as told by the Genesis narratives. In the creation narrative, Adam finds himself unable to be fulfilled as a solitary individual. Eve emerges in the symbolic narrative as the answer to this ‘original solitude’ of the man. In this, in their ‘original unity’ man and woman discover that only in the ‘other’, can they find perfect fulfillment. Designed for ‘communion’, man and woman can only be fulfilled in total self-giving, a capacity for self-giving inscribed in the very ‘language’ of the body itself in its inherent openness to the other. In other words, only love can adequately explain the question: who am I? Love alone is credible.

Thus, in all of this, marriage is not simply a ‘natural’ or periphery aspect of being human. In fact, for JPII, the love of husband and wife is the creational ‘type’ of the ultimate ‘nuptial’ relationship, that of Christ and His Church (Eph 5:25), and further, of the communion of Persons of the Trinity. The spousal relationship is thus a privileged place in creation where God reveals both who he is, and who we are meant to be, a constant reference point for all of the person’s activities and relationships, whether married or otherwise.

Far from being a ‘distraction’ keeping us from God, it is precisely ‘nuptiality’, the capacity for the communion of persons, manifested parigdimatically in the spousal relationship, which reveals to us the profound originality of the Johannine insight that ‘God is love’. This original solitude and capacity for communion, experienced in the total self-giving of the spouses, helps us to grasp the fact that the ‘other’ is not a threat to my existence, but precisely its fulfillment, and that the restless searching of the human heart, designed for communion can, ultimately, only be satisfied and be at rest in God himself, the ultimate ‘other’ in whom we live and move and have our being. In calling us back to this original vision of marriage, JPII bids us to re-discover our own identity and mission of love, made possible for fallen man in the perspective of the ‘redemption of the body’.

This ‘nuptial mystery’ from whence marriage and family elicit from and participate in is, in a nutshell, the key theme and focus of the JPII Institute.

Dad's Memorial - Part 3 {Fini}

We hadn't decided if I was going to go home IF Dad passed away. We actually had return tickets to Canada book for December 12th, because it was cheaper to by return than one way. Dad passed away on the 17th(that day was such a blur, plus with the time change I'm not sure if it the same date as when I found out...I think it was the 17th)... but as soon as I heard from Dan, I knew I had to go back to Canada. I booked a flight a few hours later, packed my bags, and Finn and I were on a flight the next morning. Dad wanted to be cremated, so there was no "rush" to have the funeral. What with Christmas being the next week, and my sister-in-law in hospital and my brother having to look after his two kids all on his own while processing everything else, it was quickly decided that we would wait until the New Year to have the Memorial Service.

We weren't very close with my Dad's side of the family growing up. Sometimes we would go to Christmas's and stuff, but we did stay mostly in touch with one of my Dad's sisters, Elizabeth. I realize now more than ever how important it was for me to have at least that one family to keep us connected with Dad and that side of my background. We jokingly call my Aunt Elizabeth's place the half-way house for our siblings! All of my brothers have spent time living there while in between houses and such, I never lived there, but I babysat my cousins, and would stay there every so often. My mom and Aunt Elizabeth have always gotten together as well, not just for us kids to keep connected, but because they got along. Everytime my Uncle Len would go away on his own (to the Ukraine or something) my mom and Aunt Elizabeth would go out to White Spot for dinner :)

All of us - June 10, 2006

We needed to have a "family meeting" to discuss the memorial service and such, so my Aunt invited us over to use her place as the meeting place. Kevin put the kids to bed upstairs, I put Finn to bed downstairs, and mom babysat while we went over to my Aunts. Dan and I grew up fighting alot, but in grade 10 or 11 we started becoming much closer. After I graduated Dan moved back home, and at first I was mad! haha, but I'm so glad he did, we had some great talks, and still do - about family, about Dad, about religion, about everything. But I've never been as close to Mike and Kevin, since there was such a large age gap, and I don't really ever remember actually living with either of them. That night at Aunt Elizabeths, I could have cared less if I couldn't make it to the memorial service or not (not that I wasn't going to make it), but I was so glad just to be there and for Kevin, Dan and I to be able to talk - and to talk with Aunt Elizabeth - about Dad. It wouldn't have been the same to come home in the summer and try to recreate those conversations - I was so thankful that we could all connect in that moment.

The Memorial Service did end up being very important - I don't even know how to put it into words. I was thankful that my in-laws could come, and they took care of Finnian during the service. First we went to the cemetary where my grandparents are buried. You can bury 5 urns with a casket - so we buried Dad in between his parents. It rained, it was just a short internment - it was so hard to really say goodbye, but so important.

Finnian and Dad - at the hospital in Edmonton

Then we went to my Aunt Elizabeths and had some refreshments, all of my Aunts were able to come to the memorial service (one Aunt lives in Edmonton, the other in California, and three in Abbotsford) - it was nice to see them all again. We then went to Northview for the memorial service. My Uncle Peter led the service. Two of my Aunts spoke, one about their life growing up in California, one about my Dad's last couple years in Edmonton. But for me, the most memorable part was when my brothers spoke. They didn't sugar coat it, they didn't say that life was perfect, but they were honest, and they spoke from their hearts. I feel closer to my brothers now than I ever have before.

So now life goes on. It's not the same for me as it is for other people who have lost their fathers since I didn't grow up seeing him everyday, or sometimes even every year for that matter, but the loss of a parent is always a life-changing event. I'm so thankful for the family that I have, for all the love and support.

So now I leave you with the slideshow that Dan prepared for Dad's Memorial. I cry everytime I watch it. (Also, if you know my nephew, can you believe how much he looks like my dad around that age?!?!)

>

Good and Bad

Good news: The first of Finn's 4 molars has FINALLY cut through - the rest are soo close, I hope they quickly follow.

Bad News: An American family who are studying in Rome (and lived in Santa Marinella for a few months) just recently lost their unborn baby. He was due in two weeks, she went into labor on the 5th, and proceeded with her home-birth plans. Around 8pm the babies heart beat was starting to slow down, so they quickly went to the hospital. They determined that he had died just after that - and he was delivered at 1am the next morning. Causes unknown, but the placenta did not look right after delivery, so it was probably something to do with that, they are still determining.

This is very tragic, the family are here without all the support that they could use. Please pray for them as they deal with all the logistics and emotions that will come at this time.

The funeral for baby Nico Neri will be on Thursday or Friday.

Dad's Memorial - Part 2

Through this time his depression had it's ups and it's really low downs. Winter/Christmas was a really hard time for him. Almost every year he would check himself into the psych ward to undergo shock therapy. The last time was really bad. He had already been in longer than normal and his mother passed away. He was off all meds and was told he was not well enough to go to her funeral... he spent about 4 months in the hospital! After that he went on a trial drug that was amazing - he never was hospitalized since! But he was getting older, the other medications were taking their toll on him, the isolation that he was putting himself through was taking it's toll as well. The last few times I saw him, he was just a different person. He didn't make jokes, he didn't hold conversations, quite frankly it was pretty awkward to be with him. I didn't know what to say or what to do. But I'm glad for those times.

If I remember correctly, this was Dad's picture when we went to College.

When he passed away, I was talking to Conor, and I got really angry about it all for the first time. I had always just been sad about it all, but not mad. The thing I was maddest about was the whole communication thing. When I was younger I wish I would have made more of an effort to actually talk to him, but I was young, I didn't know what I was missing out on. Then recently I was mad at him, for not making more of an effort - but he tried all those years and probably didn't get from me the kind of communcation that he wanted, so he probably stopped trying (as hard - I should say that I continued to write him while we were in Australia, sent him pictures of Finn after he was born, he would call every so often). Too little too late, I guess. We both did the best we could I guess.

Family Picture - my dedication

I actually remained quite in the dark about everything - I could have been asking questions a long time ago, but I didn't. I was happy in the dark. Then one night, maybe 2003, I was around when Dan was asking mom some questions about Dad. I learned it all then. I learned about how Dad couldn't hold a job, I learned how he kept making us move from Church to Church because people would find out about his smoking (a very sore spot for him) and "judge" him, how he made a deal with Mom that we would move up north and things would change. Things didn't change and in a very short time things got much worse for Dad. I won't go into all the details - I don't really feel it's my story to tell - but a series of events led to Dad leaving.


MY perspective was that Dad was only leaving to get help, when in fact he WAS leaving, and getting help was kind of forced on him. My brothers perspectives was that Dad was abandoning us, leaving mom alone to raise us, and probably just being very selfish. They already had issues with him that I didn't have - they saw how he really was - how he didn't work - how he sat at his computer all day playing games and sat on the couch all night playing video games.


Anyways, things went on as usual, until a few weeks before Conor and I were to leave for Rome. We (my brothers and I) had booked a flight for Dad to come out to Abbotsford to see us before we left and so he could visit with everyone else as well... a few days before he was supposed to fly out my Aunt in Edmonton (my Dad had moved to Edmonton a few years ago, which was really nice, he had a sister there, started going to church, wasn't quite so isolated) called to say that Dad wasn't doing so well. He hadn't been able to eat for sometime - it just all kept coming back up - he would go to the walk in clinic and they just kept telling him it was the flu. Finally he was down to about 145 pounds (and he's over 6 feet 5 inches tall!) and was taken by ambulance into the hospital. He had a lump in his throat - it was cancer - inoperable - but they could put a stent in to help him eat. It helped a bit.


Dan, Conor, Finnian and I decided to take an impromptu road trip to Edmonton. We knew it was bad, I knew I needed to see him before we moved, and we were having problems communication wise in finding out exactly what we were dealing with. Dad didn't really want to know, so when or if the doctors would talk to him, he wouldn't listen, and couldn't tell my Aunt or us what was wrong. My Aunt couldn't be at the hospital all the time to catch the doctors... anyways, we wanted to hear it first hand from the doctors. We were there for 2 long days. Because it was just a general hospital, we had to wait for the doctors to make their rounds, if we weren't there, then we wouldn't find anything out! Very frustrating actually.


Eventually we found out that he also had cancer in his liver (or kidney? I can't remember). He was having severe back pain from his arthritis but couldn't take anything for it because of how his liver(kidney?) was doing. We were there and the doctor told us that he was counting my dads life in months, not years. That was hard to hear! I should say that at this point Dad was taking everything very well. He knew exactly what he was dealing with, and he was at peace about it. He was actually off of his depression meds as well, because he hadn't been able to swallow them with the lump in his esophagus - and his moods were actually really good. Again, he was at peace about it all.


Anyways, we only had two days there - I knew I would probably never talk to him again, so we talked (as much as he was talking then). I got to tell him how I was feeling - I'm sorry he had to suffer, I'm sorry I never got to see him again, but I'm thankful that we found out he was sick before we left for Rome because that conversation was more meaningful than any we would have had if we didn't know.


My brother Dan got to visit with Dad a few times, my older brother Kevin went out and saw Dad. I think they both got to talk over some things that they had been dealing with all those years, and gain SOME closure. Kevin was actually working in Edmonton when we found out that Dad's cancer had also spread to his stomach. He wasn't keeping anything down and would be going on IV soon (meaning he did not have very many days left). Unfortunately Kevin's wife went into early labour, so he flew back to Abbotsford. A few hours later Dan flew to Edmonton to be with Dad. That night Dan was sitting with Dad, and he passed away peacefully.

29 years ago...

Conor Thomas Sweeney was born

Happy Birthday!!!! I love you!

**I won't say anything sappy, because I don't want to embarrass him!

Dad's Memorial - Part 1

I haven't talked much on here about my Dad, or about his memorial service. My thoughts are still all over the place. I guess I'm still processing it all.

**When I started writing this I was just going to write about the actual memorial but it turned into a life story sort of! I won't claim to have all of the facts right, I was very young when our family changed.

Our family has been through a lot. My Mom married my Dad when my oldest brother, Mike, was just a toddler. They had Kevin, Dan and myself. When I was in grade 2 we moved north to Fort St. John, from Abbotsford. I think it was sometime after Christmas, Mom and Dad called me and Dan (and maybe Kevin was there too, but I don't think so) downstairs to tell us that they were separating. They also told us that Dad was sick, and he was going to move to Grand Prairie, AB, to get help. He had depression, and he needed to get better.

I was heartbroken... I didn't understand... I didn't know that there were any "problems"... mainly I didn't understand, if Dad was sick, then why were we making him go off all on his own to get help? I was obviously quite sheltered from everything that was really going on. My experience was MUCH different than that of my brothers, I don't think that was a bad thing, it just was what it was.

Dad holding the ball that says "Henry"

My mom was/is amazing. She would drive Dan and I to Grand Prairie to see Dad. She would help financially to bring Dad to us (when we moved back to Abbotsford). She worked way too hard, we stressed her out endlessly with our constant fighting. When Dan wasn't picking on me, he didn't give me much attention - therefore I would provoke him so that I would get his attention. But yet through it all she was amazing. I still can't thank her enough for all she did to keep me in touch with Dad so that I could have some semblance of a relationship with him.

It was really difficult for me, and it got harder. Dad had real difficulties putting thoughts on paper, I think that it was due to his depression. He didn't write very much, but he would call every so often to talk. I, on the other hand, could write freely, but had difficulties talking. When I was younger I hated getting phone calls from him, because I missed him so much I would just end up crying on the phone - to this day I'm just not a phone person, and I think it was because of that. So we did what we could. I loved seeing him. He was always so funny and happy when I was with him - he would tell jokes to the waitresses at Smitty's. That was "our" place, we would go to Smitty's and sing "Down by the bay".

We eventually moved back to Abbotsford when I was going into grade 7. As I grew older and was more responsible for myself, I didn't have mom reminding me to phone Dad, or anything like that... so I wouldn't. I kept sending him cards on his birthday, writing him letters, keeping him up to date on my schooling. It wasn't as easy to get over to Grand Prairie to see him from Abbotsford, and he hated Abbotsford. Bad memories. He only came down for very important things, and he said he only came down because of us, and his mother. From grade 7 until he passed away I think I only saw him maybe 8 times (Kevin's wedding, my nephews birth, Dan's college graduation, maybe my nieces birth, my wedding, and a couple of times after Finn was born, then we went to Edmonton to see him before we moved to Rome).

Grandpa, Dad, and three of his sisters

**Whoops, that is Grandma in the back, and then two of his sisters**

Park

I brought my camera this time!!

Finn didn't seem to enjoy the park as much this time - and then this little boy kept following us around and trying to play on the toys that Finn was on, so we didn't stay long

**We had a really nice day the other day - then yesterday and today was stormy! As I write this, Conor took Finn out for a walk because it cleared up, now I see lightening and hear thunder... oh and there's the rain!!**

Small Town

You gotta love small town shops where the owners "know" you (they know us as well as they can without being able to actually speak to us)

I went to the grocery store the other day and their interac (bancomat) wasn't working, so they let me take 20 euros worth of groceries (I only had 5 euro on me) without paying and told me to come back anytime to pay.

:)

Baby Steps

I think it was last week sometime, Finnian took one step! I didn't "announce" it, because I wasn't sure if it was actually a step or not, but I claimed it as a step for my own satisfaction!

Then on Jan 30th we had Finnian out on the terrazza playing with his walker, and then after a bit we took him away and told him to "walk" to Daddy, and he took two steps!! It was so exciting. But I didn't have my camera.

I then vowed that my Camera would be glued to my hands until I caught it on tape! Just minutes later we caught this (and many more 5-steppers on tape). We are very excited. He's taken 3 steps in a row here and there since then, but doesn't really seem ALL that interested. Oh well! He is doing this weird thing though lately - when he's on his hands and knees he will lift up his bum so he's just on his hands and feet - preparing to get to the standing position??

We've been "busy" since I've been back - as a thanks to everyone around here for inviting Conor over for lunches, dinners, Christmas parties and New Years parties we're trying to slowly have different families over for dinner or weekend breakfastw. Last week we had Serena and Chris and their son Damian over for dinner - Damian's just a few months older than Finn, so they have a lot of fun. Then last night we had our neighbor across the hall, Victor, and another friend, Zig, over for pizza. We only let Finn have a short, early nap that day so he went to bed a bit early, and really well - so we had a nice relaxing dinner. More "entertaining" to come!

It's been cold here in Santa Marinella - but always nice and sunny! Here are some pictures from recent walks.

We've been taking him down to the boardwalk with his walker - he can walk a lot farther before "hitting a wall"

Afternoon stroll

Our local library where I have read all of the 5 or so English books!

Video store - I have yet to set up an account, but apparently you get a card that you put credit on, then you go to this machine any time and select the video you want off the screen and I guess it goes into the machine and grabbed your DVD and spits it out for you.

Then when you return it you put your card in again, and it just charges you for however long you've had it (I've heard if you rent in the evening and bring it back the next morning, it's just a euro or something)

This courtyard turns into the market on Thursday mornings, I'll try to get a pic tomorrow.

How I became Catholic - Part 5 {FINI}

In the fall of 2004 I started attending RCIA.

At that point I pretty much knew everything that they were telling me, but it’s always nice to hear things in a different way to solidify the facts. I was also reading a lot of Scott Hahn at the time. He writes great books about different areas of the Catholic faith, especially speaking to me because he was a convert as well.

Anyways, there was no doubt about it, by Christmas I decided that I wanted to become Catholic the following Easter. I’ll say at this point that all of my family and friends were very supportive. While some didn’t agree with the teachings of the Catholic Church, they still trusted that I was making the decision for myself, and that I wasn’t taking it lightly.

After deciding that I was going to “go through with it”, I had to provide my baptism certificate (if you had previously been validly baptized, you would not be baptized again when you became Catholic). I learned that I was not “validly” baptized. I was actually shocked, but it’s kind of fitting – I never thought that my baptized was “everything” it was supposed to be, so here I was going to get a chance to be properly baptized. The reason that my baptism at 13 wasn’t valid was because the certificate didn’t state that I was baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and of the Holy Spirit (although, at the actual baptism I'm pretty sure, the Pastor did say that I was baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, but the certificate needed to say it on there.)

That Easter I got the full package. Generally Catholics are baptized as babies, receive First Communion around grade 2, and are confirmed into the Catholic Church in grade 7. I got all three in one night!

That is how I became Catholic – June of that year, Conor proposed!